Pass The Joint!

Posted on December 4, 2012


Yesterday I had to face what I proclaimed to be the daunting task of putting the piles of paper on my dining room table in some semblance of order.  So I welcomed an interruption for a minute!  Conversation went something like this:

Ego “This isn’t going to pay the bills”

Sandy “Shut the Fuck Up”

Ego “I should be looking for a real job”

Sandy “I said fuck off!”

Ego “You should give the landlord notice”

Sandy “I know, but not just yet”

Ego “Where am I going to live?”

Sandy “Stop it, Go to Hell”

Ego “I wonder what claiming bankruptcy feels like?”

Sandy “That will not happen”

Ego “It might”

Sandy “Shhh, be quiet”

Ego “I’ll be standing on the street corner with my sign telling people I’m an unemployed writer, asking for spare change”

Sandy “Oh My God!  You are too funny”

Ego “What am I doing”

Sandy “It’s ok, I got your back”

Ego “I’m a little nervous about this”

Sandy “I know, I Love You”

After that exchange I had to sit still for a moment (I call it meditation) to collect my thoughts.  Then I went about my day finding ways to avoid the stack of paper that was now neatly piled on the floor!  That got me thinking about the EGO and what a pain in the ass it can be – if we let it!

I came to the conclusion that back when thought created everything in existence – you know it still does, right – a group of souls were hovering around either breathing in air, vapors, ethers, energy or pot!  Must have been the latter!

Anyway, they started thinking – such a dangerous game (ha-ha!).  They were thinking that they were all so much alike (the same thing really) that it might be fun to separate themselves from one another and take on different forms.  Thus the “human” BEING came into existence.

Now I don’t think the term EGO was being used back then, but the actions and ideas of the EGO started taking form.  These humans started taking a look at one another and out of nowhere, the separation and comparisons began.

They started saying things like “that’s a pretty big tent he lives in”, “Oh, I should have thought to be more beautiful”, “Hey, turns out I’ve got more sheep than everyone in the neighborhood – cool”, “I’m sooo tall”, “I’m sooo short”, “Hey, how did you get that hue on your skin”, “No, that’s not how it works”, “You’re wrong, I’m right”, “I’ll fight you for it” … Well you get the picture.

I’m not sure where that term EGO originated, but I’m going to give the credit to Sigmund – remember him??  He was brave enough to publicly speak of it and provide a definition.

Here is one of many definitions found on the wonderful Internet – the psychoanalysis part comes from Mr. Freud’s theory:

n., pl., e·gos.

  1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
  2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
    1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
    2. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.

We have an incredible array of beliefs and behaviors all stemming from the EGO as the original source.  And, the Ego’s job is to remain that way – to be in control.  That’s how it survives.  It’s also a direct path leading us back to that place of knowing.  That place where more exists.

Oh the EGO, both friend (individuality) and FOE (individuality and seperation)! Imagine that!

So, I’m not sure if it would help any of us to remember more of this by smoking a little vapor – I’ll tell if you do.  Well, I’ll tell anyway – the answer is Yes, AND (drum roll please), I inhaled!

Oh, I can hear the collective gasp throughout the world.  I can see the ladies covering their mouths to hide their disapproval.  There are parents covering their children’s ears and others shouting “place her in the stocks”, “no it should be death by torture!”

Ha-ha, and to all of them I would ask – does anyone have any papers??

And the moral to the story is: I’m learning to witness while dancing with all of it!  Leaving more and more of it behind.

Much Love

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