Journey Into Grief

Posted on December 16, 2012


In the wake of what took place in Connecticut last Friday, I’m feeling the loss and pain of all those affected – both directly and indirectly.

I’ve experienced that kind of loss, having lost a child, both of my parents, a few friends and some relatives.  And each loss gets experienced in a different way.  Losing my son caused a very deep and long-lasting type of grief and I guess that’s why I feel connected to this particular group of people who I’ve never met.  My baby didn’t get to participate in this world.  He may not have taken his first breath outside of the womb, but he was very much alive all the same.  He got to pass through me on his journey, and he was named and then buried.

I do believe I’ve dealt with and am clearing the issues that accompanied my loss, but it took a very, very long time in human years.  I boarded up and shut down.   I lived on the outside of me, never ever looking within.  Now I can see that although I may have been outwardly seeking help, I was too emotionally locked up inside to receive any.  And that completely influenced my perception of life, of self, and the world around me.  It was the base from which all my stories arose.

There are many stories in those words, stories I plan to tell over time, but right now I’m thinking about those whose lives have been changed forever.  Every reason for residing in grief is different, none any greater or less than those being experienced in this moment in time.  And if I could express through them I would.  If I could talk to them about the sadness and numbness that accompanies loss, I would.  If I could prevent just one of them from retreating in the face of sorrow, burying parts of themselves away forever, I would.

I’m sure there will be many forms of assistance offered to the people who lost children, parents, spouses and friends.  And I hope and pray that said assistance:

  • Encourages them to grieve openly and fully.
  • Helps them understand that it’s okay to be angry – even towards God.
  • Helps them know that it’s okay to feel vengeful – even with God listening.
  • Lets them know that its okay to shut down and spend some time alone.
  • Prevents the inclusion of any guilt associated with being angry or vengeful or wanting time alone, from permeating the souls.
  • Teaches them to feel what they are feeling with awareness.

As this collective group of individual beings enters their personal journey into grief, may they be given all the comfort and support that they feel they require, and may each allow their darkness to provide more light.

Much Love

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