Pizza, Red Wine, and a Really Big Straw!

Posted on January 17, 2013


Fack, Feck, Fick, Fock, Fuck and sometimes Fyck!  There are days when the bullshit grabs hold, and today I let it be!

I was having a day.  I felt restless, frustrated and I was looking for work!  I looked at job postings and it made me feel antsy.  In theory it seems pretty simple – you work, you get paid, and life goes on.  But I just can’t imagine going back “there” again and I found myself fighting with myself as a result.

I sometimes wonder how many millions of people are doing work they dislike because it gives them the currency to buy things they may not really need?  Then I wonder how many millions of people buy things they may not really need, to placate themselves because they are doing work they don’t really want?  A never-ending circle, I don’t wish to rejoin.

Perhaps I’ve had too much freedom – if there is such a thing?  Perhaps it’s a commitment issue that’s influencing my decisions – I’m afraid I might just settle back in and forget all the things that hold meaning for me.

It’s so easy to see what I don’t want to do, but I can’t yet see how I can earn an income doing the things I’m most passionate about.  Am I creating this madness?  Am I “thinking” too much?  Is there’s a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on inside me?

  • I’m writing lots of notes, but not posting
  • I’m meditating but not feeling centered
  • I’m trying to be patient while resisting delays
  • On the outside I’m quiet, but I’m screaming inside!

So I started thinking about things to placate myself, and all that came to mind was Pizza – thin crust, well done, extra cheese, pepperoni, bacon and mushrooms with a nice bottle of red and a really big straw – why dirty a glass that I then have to clean! LMAO!!

But, I settled for spaghetti squash (I make a really good dish), with a really big mug of vanilla rooibos tea –dishes and a mug that I then had to clean!

I think life would be pointless if we could see what the future holds, but there are days when it’s hard to give thanks for that which helps us grow.

Much Love

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