Karma Me Bad!!

Posted on January 24, 2013


I read a really nice post yesterday afternoon, which talked about Karma.  I liked what was written, but the idea of Karma stayed with me, and I wondered – not for the first time, is Karma real?

Does it exist or is it something we human Beings use to make sense of, or come to terms with, something our fellow human Beings do, or have done?

From an intellectual perspective I totally get Karma, but it’s not sitting still in my heart.  The notion of Karma really doesn’t make me feel good or content.  On the one hand, I’m all for the idea of “what goes around, comes around” or as the bible states “as you sow, so shall you reap”, but I can’t help but think that it all suggests that God, or the universe (I’m trying to remain all-inclusive), is somehow in judgment, or vindictive or vengeful.  And I’m having a really difficult time with that notion, because those words feel like human egoic traits!

Perhaps I’m using the wrong words – words that stem from lower vibrating thoughts or actions, which we can spend a lifetime trying to “rise” above, and that’s what’s causing me to question Karma?

Human Beings have and will always do things, which somebody will disagree with, but the action and it’s reaction, will differ depending on perspective.  We might be upset, but willing to consider an action with understanding and/or compassion.  Or, on the flip side, we might be totally pissed and unforgiving of something else.  And I doubt very much that there has ever, in the history of man, been an action that we all looked at with the same perspective.  Every action has both “perpetrators” and “victims”.  Every war that’s been fought, every freedom gained, and every right granted.  Does that mean that every person who was on the losing side of any battle fought has built up karmic debt – even if they truly believed in what they were fighting for?

So I wonder, how does Karma work?  Who exacts karmic payback, and how is said “retribution” metered out?  Is it something we can’t see, but should still have faith in?

Please know that I ask these questions with an open heart and absolute respect.  I’d really like to understand what Karma is and how it impacts all of us.

True story – a long while ago someone had “a line” on VCRs which were being sold at a very good rate.  I had a feeling that the VCRs in question did not go through the scanner at the check out line, but I thought I’d buy one anyway because I didn’t really think beyond my need/want and this amazing offer.

So, I get a call saying that the VCRs were in and off I went to pick up my “purchase”.  First thing I noticed when I arrived, the VCRs were not in boxes – small alarm bell, but no problem.  Then the person pulled my “new” VCR out of a bag and I knew instantly that these VCRs had been stolen from people’s homes.  I was mortified, but unable to voice my concern out of fear and embarrassment that I’d gotten myself into this situation.  So, I bought what turned out to be probably the oldest possible version of VCR left standing – serves me right – right?

Not long after getting this clunker, my home (a townhouse) was broken into while I was at work.  My Sister was living with me at the time, and the majority of what was taken, happened to belong to her (her bedroom was on the second floor, mine on the third).  Now I hope she doesn’t mind, but I’ll mention that she too bought a stolen VCR – and neither one of us was particularly proud of what we had done once we realized they were stolen from homes. That said, her VCR was a current model and it actually worked for both watching and taping shows – mine didn’t and we paid the same price for them.  I’m laughing as I mention this cause it sounds like I was a tad bit bitter about that, which I probably was – strange to be both ill at ease that I’d bought stolen property AND pissed that my sister got better stolen property than me.

Now I must mention that it wasn’t just our townhouse that was broken into that day.  It happened to two others as well, and then two more a few days later!  The police came, found fingerprints and we all laughed about the fact that the thieves left my VCR alone – imagine the gull!  I think that was just nerves on my part (it’s really not a good feeling to come home and see that your front door has been kicked in)!!  But the police did inform us that this was a “cash and carry” type of crime – most of what was taken was jewelry, stuff that fits in pockets and is easy to run with – literally!

Now I ask, was that karmic payback – I think I believed that for the longest time, and I truly felt I deserved it for having purchased personal stolen property.  And I know my Sister felt the same way. I know I learned a very valuable lesson from that whole incident, but when I accepted the stolen VCR, I also vowed that I would never again purchase something that was illegally obtained – regardless of where it came from.

And I never have.  But still I wonder – was that Karma?

It’s strange to think that I was okay with an item that “fell off the back of a truck”, but at the time, I didn’t think that was so bad.  In thinking about that while writing this post, it brought back a memory of the very first funeral I ever attended.  I was a teenager, aka young and impressionable!  I recall being very nervous about the whole funeral thing, but the Minister (Father R) who performed the service knew all of us, and the deceased (an uncle through marriage) very well, and the sermon was both funny and warm-hearted.  In speaking about how my uncle had been of “service” he mentioned the fact that my uncle was known for providing meat for meals held at the church.   He also alluded to the fact that said meat “may have fallen off the back of a truck” which got everyone laughing – I’m assuming that they all knew that was truth, yet it seemed to somehow be okay – or perhaps he had somehow been forgiven because his heart was in the “right” place?  I don’t really know, but I do know there was no mention of hell, damnation, karma or any other consequence.

I’ve come to believe that our actions either move us closer to, or farther away from the heart – and we all move from different levels of consciousness at any given time.  I also believe that in feeling so guilty about the whole incident, that perhaps I thought my own “punishment” into being – something that would confirm that yes, I’d done something wrong!  I had no idea what that punishment might look like, but it’s quite ironic that I was stolen from!  Payback in its purest form!

But I still don’t want to call it karma.

We talk trash, we say unkind things about others – usually behind their backs, we laugh at other people’s follies – I think to make ourselves feel bigger?  And yes, someone may then in turn say something about us, or laugh at our expense.  But isn’t that just a register of the company we keep?  Like attracts like – vibrationally speaking!  But is that Karma?

Some believe that our souls carry karmic debt from previous lifetimes, but how do we know that to be true?  And if that is the case, how can we “cleanse” something we don’t know exists?  There are so many souls that are walking this earth either unwilling or unable to know their heart this lifetime.  But regardless of their level of awareness, they are still part of the whole, which means that they still walk in God’s image – they are God just as much as the most enlightened soul – aren’t they?  And that being the case, I’ll ask once again, how can karma exist?  It’s like saying that God is redeeming God??

I’m out on a limb on this one and I’m asking for feedback, so that I may understand, something that’s got me totally perplexed.

Much Love

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