A Song, A Lesson, Peace

Posted on February 13, 2013


Sometimes I see “her” so clearly.  She exists as both a participant and a witness, while residing outside of it all – that place where Peace exists.

When we learn to accept life just as it is, we become living examples of Peace and Love.

I can “find” that space through music and the joy of movement.  The kind of movement where you give your body love through “dance”.  Freeing your Self for a moment and not giving a sh#t about what it looks like.

If you don’t know what that feels like, you should give it a try – I highly recommend it.

As I let my Self open up, I no longer worry about what others may think about my movements.  I wasn’t always like that.  I used to have to look cool – like I knew what I was doing and was doing it well – just like everybody else.  Now, I just move with the music and everything else goes away – and there is Peace in that.

I love music and I have lots of it.  I have music that makes me dance with my eyes closed, music that gets my hips moving, music that raises my arms, and music that awakens my inner diva and I sing with abandon!  I have lights out music where I sometimes disappear in the most beautiful peaceful way.  That’s when I know I’m residing in an “I AM” moment.  If you don’t have any songs that make you do that, I highly recommend finding one.  There is so much Peace in that.

I have music that I’ve learned through – music that’s taught me to see things for what they truly are.

I could create an exceedingly long list of songs that I’d want others to hear – songs that have touched my soul in so many beautiful ways.  But it’s LOVE month – I know, like it’s the only one (ha-ha), but bear with me.

For Love month, I’m choosing a song without words.  The song is called SMILE, and it’s expressed through a saxophone by David Sanborn – a man that speaks volumes through a saxophone!  I chose that song because it brings back a memory that personifies love for me.

Just a few yesterdays ago, I visited the Island of Barbados for the first time.  During that visit, I met an American girl named Cathy who has since become one of my “lifers” – someone that will always be part of my close circle of friends, regardless of where our lives take us.

I returned to that island numerous times – always meeting up with Cathy and hanging out for a couple of weeks, and it was during one of those visits that I got to witness (through Cathy) what “falling in love” can look like with a different perspective – although I didn’t see that at the time.

There was a wonderful man named Andrew that captured Cathy’s heart, and one very late evening after the nightclub closed, we – being my Sister, Cathy’s good friend Lisa and I, found ourselves sitting in a car – listening to David Sanborn, while waiting for Cathy to finish her chat with Andrew.  Their conversation seemed to go on forever and we were tired, getting a little impatient, and maybe just a tad bit insensitive.  I don’t think the conversation was going well, and Cathy looked upset, so to be funny, we let the song “Smile” play very loudly, over and over again.  That kept us amused and made us laugh.

When Cathy finally returned to the car she was visibly upset, and all we did was try to stifle our giggles.  I don’t know if any of us offered up any sympathetic words at the time – I don’t think any of us knew what to say, but we did know that Andrew didn’t feel the same way Cathy did.  At the time, I do recall thinking that she had been rejected and I think I may have been a little embarrassed for her – thinking that she was somehow wrong for having put herself and her feelings “out there”.

Life went on, Cathy and Andrew never became a couple, but they did become very good friends.  Cathy met and fell in love again, and this time she married.  Her wedding was lovely, and I had the honor of participating – very nervously reading a beautiful passage from the bible.  Unfortunately that marriage ended, and this time I was able to provide both support and sympathy.

And life went on!  Cathy continued to visit the island of Barbados – a place I started referring to as her “home” away from “home”.  On what must have been her 100th visit she met someone new, fell in love, and once again married.  I was her “Maid of Honor” this time, and although I was happy for her, I was a little skeptical of her choice in husband – there is an age gap that made me uncomfortable and I was worried for her.

But life has gone on, they are still very happily married, and living in Barbados.  Cathy frequently mentions that they still feel like they are on their honeymoon – 9 years later, and today is their anniversary!

Now, when I listen to the song “Smile” I can’t help but think about Cathy and what she has unknowingly taught me about love.  First, she has always been completely open to love regardless of the outcome. She has always loved, for love’s sake.  She’s always understood love more than I dared contemplate, and through her actions over the years, I came to the realization that my definition of “Love” included boundaries – and what an awakening that was!

I spent many guarded years loving conditionally so that I wouldn’t be hurt.  Rejection was something I took very personally, so I made sure I never put myself in a position where I might experience it.  I would never be the first to say “I Love You”, ever – for me the risk was to high!!  My expression of “Giving Love to Get Love” included doing for, or giving to others (sometimes grudgingly), without the use of words.

It’s taken a long time for me to realize that there is absolutely NO Peace in that.  I used to wonder why I couldn’t “find” true love, never fully realizing that it needed to start with me truly loving me, and expressing that outwardly, with no concern about how it might be perceived.

I’m a different person today, and I credit people like Cathy for helping me find that hidden and guarded part of “me”.  And the song “Smile” will always represent that knowing for me.

I wanted this Peace Post to be expressed during “Love” month when all the stores are decorated in pink and red, because with “knowing” came a little cynicism about the fact that we think of February as Love Month, and take one day out of the year to allow it’s expression.  But, in remembering who I once was, and now knowing that Love just IS, I see Valentine’s Day as an opportunity for someone to express “love” in a very safe way.  It’s a day when one might give themselves permission to express Love without feeling judged – and for some that might be the only time they feel comfortable doing that.  You don’t stand out in displaying affection and you don’t have to use words to let your feelings be known and that can be a huge leap for some.  So I now think of Love month and Valentine’s Day as “coming out” season, where boundaries get extended or crossed, and I find true Peace in that.

If we think Loving thoughts and express them outwardly on Thursday, our collective energy may cause someone to actually say “I Love You” for the very first time.  And how much Peace is there in that!

And for every day that came before and every day that follows Thursday, I will continue to find that which keeps me residing in that place where I know Peace walks with me and Loves when I take a moment to say hello!

Have a Listen to David – I hope it makes you smile!


Much Love

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